Disappointment

Results released day,
What a big disappointment to me.
Perhaps next time don't carry too high expectation on myself will make me feel better.

Started to face the laptop at 12pm until 4pm for the results, at 1230pm I saw people said that Academic Honor List was available to be viewed, Opened it but couldn't find my name in the Dean List this time. It's okay, perhaps your results not that bad.. waited for 3hours, mummy waiting together with me, got nervous with me too. 4Pm, Finally...Released... Fell out from the Dean List is the 1st attack; results drop significantly is the 2nd attack; and her results was better than mine,the 3RD attack!

I told daddy mummy my results, they said that my results is good enough d, don't compare with others. But I just can't stop thinking the fact that I lose to her once again.. The feeling really so awful.. I know, don't compare, but... I can't do it.. =((

AIKS!! I really put in so much efforts, really worked so hard, how many sleepless nights, how many caffeine I consumed, how terrible is my life been during the one whole month, but why, my efforts only worth for this results?! I don't understand, I can't accept it either!

Is there any methods to enhance my memorizing skills? any ways to boost up my understanding skills too? I need them badly, I have to chase back what I lose, even the difference just 0.07, but I hate the feeling to be the loser in front of her!

I know this sounds so bad, sounds so mean, but I don't know why, seriously I getting more & more dislike her...I'm sorry for myself turned into this behaviour, somehow I feel myself getting more & more scary, but...yet... I can't stop behaving like this.

No matter how, will work even harder for the coming semester. =)

*爸爸妈咪，对不起，这个学期收不到学校寄给你们的信了，对不起让你们失望了，=(我会更努力，希望下学期可以得到更好的。=)*